I'll upate qs soon as I can... I've been swamped lately.
Much Love ! ! !
~Julie
Friday, July 18, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
The J O B hunt.... :)
Sooooooo I haven't had a chance to post alot recently 1) Because I've been swampped working and interviewing... 2) Because alot of folks from my office read this and well I was hoping NOT to let 'em know I was job hunting till I was ready to resign.
Today was my last day ! ! ! :) Ughhhhhh the place S U C K E D the life from my soul..... It was horrid... I once worked Air Conditioning in Phoenix, AZ during the summer and THAT was better than this place could ever HOPE to aspire towards... But while I was transitioning I was sort of STUCK there ya know!?!?!?
Well the time had come and I was seeking other opportunities. And the coolest opportunity came my way... I got recruited by the NFL... LOL No seriously their technical recruitment staff contacted me, I had several phone/technical interviews.. I called my Mom and Dad right away (it was pretty exciting actually) and told Dad... 'Well I finally got recruited by the NFL...' They were pretty excited about it for me too... So I spoke to Dad for a sec. and I had to joke w/ him a little... I'm wicked at times :) (blink blink) I said ya seriously finally one of us makes it to the NFL... Bet ya never thought it possible. He's like 'uh-huh' he knows whats coming... I continue with... Just as the hot-chick behind the keyboard rather than that goofy big guy at nose-gaurd! ROFLMAO... He's like "you're so un-well" LOL He was kidding :) errrrr maybe not just a little bit :)
Anyway... I was pretty nervous when they flew me out to Los Angeles for more interviews. I'd only been full-time for about 5 months at that point and well this was biting off quite a bit... atleast for me. It was right before Mother's Day weekend so I had 'em fly me into Phoenix to spend the weekend with my Mom afterwards :). The interviews went well. About 4 hours long with 6 or 7 different people... Some went great others went horribly alas I did not get the gig but I had a blast and really overcame some serious insecurities... Why do I always prefer trial by fire... Ughhhhhh :) Cuz well derrrrr that's me :)
I have some really amazing news on the job hunt front but haven't time to post right this second... More in a few :)
Much Love!!!
~Julie
Today was my last day ! ! ! :) Ughhhhhh the place S U C K E D the life from my soul..... It was horrid... I once worked Air Conditioning in Phoenix, AZ during the summer and THAT was better than this place could ever HOPE to aspire towards... But while I was transitioning I was sort of STUCK there ya know!?!?!?
Well the time had come and I was seeking other opportunities. And the coolest opportunity came my way... I got recruited by the NFL... LOL No seriously their technical recruitment staff contacted me, I had several phone/technical interviews.. I called my Mom and Dad right away (it was pretty exciting actually) and told Dad... 'Well I finally got recruited by the NFL...' They were pretty excited about it for me too... So I spoke to Dad for a sec. and I had to joke w/ him a little... I'm wicked at times :) (blink blink) I said ya seriously finally one of us makes it to the NFL... Bet ya never thought it possible. He's like 'uh-huh' he knows whats coming... I continue with... Just as the hot-chick behind the keyboard rather than that goofy big guy at nose-gaurd! ROFLMAO... He's like "you're so un-well" LOL He was kidding :) errrrr maybe not just a little bit :)
Anyway... I was pretty nervous when they flew me out to Los Angeles for more interviews. I'd only been full-time for about 5 months at that point and well this was biting off quite a bit... atleast for me. It was right before Mother's Day weekend so I had 'em fly me into Phoenix to spend the weekend with my Mom afterwards :). The interviews went well. About 4 hours long with 6 or 7 different people... Some went great others went horribly alas I did not get the gig but I had a blast and really overcame some serious insecurities... Why do I always prefer trial by fire... Ughhhhhh :) Cuz well derrrrr that's me :)
I have some really amazing news on the job hunt front but haven't time to post right this second... More in a few :)
Much Love!!!
~Julie
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Thursday, May 22, 2008
WOW "You've come a long way baby!!!" and "Ode to the best friends any girl could have!!!"
OK well Cinco De Mayo weekend was basically my one year since I started transition.
It was on that weekend in 2007 that I began coming out to friends and family...
Well on Saturday night (Tres De Mayo for those who are counting LOL) a whole bunch of us were out at a local restaurant celebrating the birthday of one of our good friends. Now the whole group of us is quite large and some “know” some “don’t” (a few of them know me from “before”). We had about 20-25 people there and scrunched a whole bunch of tables together. Among our group of friends a bunch of the guys have a really really good band, so we were chillin’ watching the guys play, at this bar/restaurant, generally having a blast! And inevitably some of the patrons are getting pretty ummmm “inebriated” and a group of us girls was just chatting and people watching. Well we noticed this one pretty cute guy, nice jeans, nice snug red t-shirt, so on. Well as we are talking the band ends one of their songs and intros another, meanwhile this guy marches up to us girls and takes MY hand (oh my freakin’ goodness, out of all of us??? ME????) pulls me out to the dance floor, the band (again a very very cool group of guy friends) really starts tearing into this AWESOME song. Cute guy then proceeds to dip, swirl, and spin me, clearing the dance floor basically, so it was just he and I and quite an energetic crowd encircling us. I mean whoa, I was having a hard time keeping up. So I just had to give in and pretty much let him have control (it really takes a lot of trust actually, ya don’t wanna get dropped). My girlfriends are still clapping and whooping it up, back at our tables… Anyway that finally ends, and I head back to the tables to my girlfriends’ cheers… Oh… WHAT was that AWESOME song, you ask??????? Well Tom Petty’s “American Girl” of course :) :) :) :) :) :) :) What a way to personally celebrate (only a few of my girlfriends recalled it had been a year) one of the best years of my entire life. To wrap up this year being pulled to the dance floor by a very cute guy, spun, dipped, flipped, whatever, to none OTHER than “American Girl”….. TY TY TY TY TY TY TY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and the guys in the band have all known me since way back, so they “know”. Well once they saw what was going on they REALLY tore into that song… :) :) :)
Thank you deeply, from the very bottom of my heart and soul, to all those beautiful friends I’ve been so blessed with. Who have stuck beside me during this amazing year. It truly speaks volumes about the amazing men and women you all are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much Love!!!
~Julie
It was on that weekend in 2007 that I began coming out to friends and family...
Well on Saturday night (Tres De Mayo for those who are counting LOL) a whole bunch of us were out at a local restaurant celebrating the birthday of one of our good friends. Now the whole group of us is quite large and some “know” some “don’t” (a few of them know me from “before”). We had about 20-25 people there and scrunched a whole bunch of tables together. Among our group of friends a bunch of the guys have a really really good band, so we were chillin’ watching the guys play, at this bar/restaurant, generally having a blast! And inevitably some of the patrons are getting pretty ummmm “inebriated” and a group of us girls was just chatting and people watching. Well we noticed this one pretty cute guy, nice jeans, nice snug red t-shirt, so on. Well as we are talking the band ends one of their songs and intros another, meanwhile this guy marches up to us girls and takes MY hand (oh my freakin’ goodness, out of all of us??? ME????) pulls me out to the dance floor, the band (again a very very cool group of guy friends) really starts tearing into this AWESOME song. Cute guy then proceeds to dip, swirl, and spin me, clearing the dance floor basically, so it was just he and I and quite an energetic crowd encircling us. I mean whoa, I was having a hard time keeping up. So I just had to give in and pretty much let him have control (it really takes a lot of trust actually, ya don’t wanna get dropped). My girlfriends are still clapping and whooping it up, back at our tables… Anyway that finally ends, and I head back to the tables to my girlfriends’ cheers… Oh… WHAT was that AWESOME song, you ask??????? Well Tom Petty’s “American Girl” of course :) :) :) :) :) :) :) What a way to personally celebrate (only a few of my girlfriends recalled it had been a year) one of the best years of my entire life. To wrap up this year being pulled to the dance floor by a very cute guy, spun, dipped, flipped, whatever, to none OTHER than “American Girl”….. TY TY TY TY TY TY TY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and the guys in the band have all known me since way back, so they “know”. Well once they saw what was going on they REALLY tore into that song… :) :) :)
Thank you deeply, from the very bottom of my heart and soul, to all those beautiful friends I’ve been so blessed with. Who have stuck beside me during this amazing year. It truly speaks volumes about the amazing men and women you all are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much Love!!!
~Julie
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Happy Mother's Day!!! (I know, I know, I'm only a week late)
Sorry about the sparse posts, I'm just so darn busy. Work, work, work, gosh I need a break!!!
So last weekend was amazing! I had to fly into Los Angeles Thursday night, then I was back on a plane Friday night to Phoenix to spend Mother's Day with Mom!!! Mom and Dad picked me up at the airport this time, usually one of my friends gets that lucky task but being there for only a couple days I really didn't schedule any time with friends or work (I do some contracting there too) I did have lunch on Saturday with my best friend though, but there's more on that shortly. Anyway I think Mom came along to be moral support for Dad... He's been pretty consistent with lots of love and support, though not ever really forgetting to let me know he is not at all happy about my decision to transition nor does he approve of or support it. But again at the same time after the initial outburst and being angry with me, we talked and ever since he's never shown me any animosity regarding transition and even slowly developing a new relationship with me, so s'all gooood. :)
As well as spending Mother's Day with Mom there was another important thing happening this weekend. My brother recently moved back to Phoenix and has been staying with our parents while he gets settled in. Our relationship has been horribly strained since I started transition. We used to talk at least weekly, but over this last year we’ve spoken maybe 4 times. When I first came out to him, told him what was wrong, and that I had decided transitioning was right for me, his response was… get ready this is hilarious… “So what! Just ‘man up’ stay the way you are and suffer with it!” GOOB!!! I mean come on… Hey bro I’m trans, and his response is ‘man up’ ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WTF… Ummm, NO!!! LOL anyway I was really nervous about how the weekend would go and how things between us would work out. So when I arrived Friday night he was out by the pool… I set my bags down and walked out to see him, I was still in my business suit since my last meeting in L.A. didn’t conclude until 5:45 and I had to be at the airport immediately there after. Our folks stayed back, but within ears reach to give us some space, (again this is the first time we’ve seen one another in a couple years and whew have I changed) SO he gives me the once over, up and down and says “Huh, so this is it huh?” full of sarcasm and I think to myself well here comes a fight, but I just haven’t got the energy or desire for it. I just walked away, back into the house to unpack/hang-up some of my things put some toiletries out, curl up into a ball and disappear, whatever. All the while trying and failing to hold back the tears. He steps into the room and says “Wait, I’m sorry. It’s just that I was totally unprepared to see you” we talked for awhile and he even says “Seriously, wow you pull it off very well. You don’t look at all how I imagined you would.” Sad that everyone I’ve had to ‘come out’ to (family) have all had this same horrible misconception about what I’ll look like. At least until we meet face to face, or they see a pic, whatever. Seems like they must have all been thinking ‘whoa that’s gonna be one ugly girl’ or whatever. nuu-uhh. I digress. We talk and talk and all goes very well. My parents, my brother, my G-Ma all were wonderful that weekend, they all made an honest attempt at getting my name and pronouns correct and for the most part they did. Dad has the hardest time with it. Not that he’s being spiteful, I just think he’s resistant to it because he’s hanging tightly onto J----- (boy name) knows that once he goes for it, and gets it right he senses that will be the end of J--- (boy name) and I’ve got to just be as understanding and compassionate about that and what they perceive as their loss as I hope they will be to me. Mom and I discussed this and she said the most beautiful thing. She says now that she’s clearly only gained and really lost nothing since my transition. AWESOME of her she’s really doing well in relating and coming to terms with it. G-Ma is pretty much in the same place (though she was strongly opposed initially) she pulled me aside Sunday morning before going over to some other relatives and says, you know… you really are beautiful…. Then she gives me a great big smile, hugs, kisses and happy Mom’s Day. K I’m crying even now about that one.
Saturday afternoon my bro and I did some running around, last minute gift buying for Mom’s Day, and so on. Then we met up with my best friend for lunch, Mmmmm sushi… my favorite. So were sitting there laughing and chatting. He has both of us just laughing so hard we’re crying. My friend and I do get a bit of attention whenever we're out, and today was no different. As we’re getting ready to head out my bro gets up and I had to let him know to wait for a sec. and sure enough us wrapping it up was the queue some guy needed to pass along the inevitable phone number it was for her this time. LOL bro says how the heck did ya know that was coming… “oh we saw him writing it down about 15 minutes ago after asking the host for a pen…” He’s like darn ya all are always one step ahead of us aren’t ya. Once we were heading down the road bro mentions that he thinks one guy across the sushi bar noticed me and figured it out… LOL My friend says oh ya he was looking… But like a fat kid looking at chocolate cake… ROFLMAO ((when I first went full-time I was very self-conscious about being read and assumed that everyone that looked at me twice was pretty much reading me… Till one of my friends in ATL noted that ya he was looking at ya. But he wasn’t reading ya… He was looking at ya like a fat kid looking at cake… now that’s just funny!!! Ever since, we’ve all used that to lighten the tension regarding being read or just getting seriously checked out.)) Well I’m sure you can imagine the cringe and eye roll from bro as he was mentally figuring out what that ultimately meant.
We all went out to dinner Saturday night… Usually Dad is seriously against that… I think he’s worried about me. Not about being with me, but dealing, if I get read, he’d have a hard time not taking it personal and getting all PO’d. But we had a great evening, a few awkward moments as there were some pronoun/name slips but who cares, he was trying. Ya just work through it no biggie… By Saturday evening most everyone was doing very well with my name and pronouns… Believe it or not my bro and Mom were almost 100% successful… And G-ma was doing very well too. YEAH!!! we ended up playing spades the rest of the evening and had a blast all of us around the table, laughing and just happy to be spending time together. Bro had the arduous task of teaching us and keeping us within the rules of spades, since none of us were very familiar with it, so that was cool.
Sunday morning rolled around and Mom, G-Ma, and I are just lounging and in slow-mo. We passed out additional, Mom’s Day cards and gifts etc… And we’re just about to get off our duffs and get ready for brunch when we hear Dad and bro pull up with the boat (they had planned to go fishing Sun. morning) That was a little weird since we’d expected them to be gone until the afternoon but apparently they ran into issues with the motor on the boat… Bummer Well to make a long story short (too late) they missed J--- (boy name) cuz I was the driver and backer-uper, for some reason it came easy for me to do the whole reverse steering thing… Probably because I HAD to be the best (no pressure on myself) I had to do every “guy” thing better and better and better, lest anyone question my “guyness” LOL that was BS… (funny the garbage we put ourselves through)… Well it was funny being on the other side of that one for a change… Thank God.
So we got them all settled in and they’d decided to join Mom and I for brunch (G-ma was off to other relatives). We had a good time and afterwards Mom and I had them drop us off at the store as she needed to pickup some things. So we’re doing our shopping… and I thought I got read, My mom’s like, lol no way. Anyway we’re at the checkout now and the cashier says “Have a happy Mother’s Day ladies… If you’re Mom’s of course.” My Mom turns around and says “Yep we both are and Happy Mother’s Day back” OMGOSH!!!!! I was a weeee bit floored at that. I actually woke to about 5 Happy Mom’s Day wishes on my phone and Mom asked what was all the beeping so I showed her. I guess she decided that ya she’s a Mom… huh wow included in THAT group by Mom is a BIG DEAL for me…
We all had a great weekend, but it was bitter sweet for me, I was only hours away from having to hop yet another plane back home to ATL. It was difficult to say goodbye to those I’ve missed for so long, and the amazing new relationships we were forming with one another.
Happy Mother’s Day Ladies!!! (sorry it’s a week late)
~Julie
So last weekend was amazing! I had to fly into Los Angeles Thursday night, then I was back on a plane Friday night to Phoenix to spend Mother's Day with Mom!!! Mom and Dad picked me up at the airport this time, usually one of my friends gets that lucky task but being there for only a couple days I really didn't schedule any time with friends or work (I do some contracting there too) I did have lunch on Saturday with my best friend though, but there's more on that shortly. Anyway I think Mom came along to be moral support for Dad... He's been pretty consistent with lots of love and support, though not ever really forgetting to let me know he is not at all happy about my decision to transition nor does he approve of or support it. But again at the same time after the initial outburst and being angry with me, we talked and ever since he's never shown me any animosity regarding transition and even slowly developing a new relationship with me, so s'all gooood. :)
As well as spending Mother's Day with Mom there was another important thing happening this weekend. My brother recently moved back to Phoenix and has been staying with our parents while he gets settled in. Our relationship has been horribly strained since I started transition. We used to talk at least weekly, but over this last year we’ve spoken maybe 4 times. When I first came out to him, told him what was wrong, and that I had decided transitioning was right for me, his response was… get ready this is hilarious… “So what! Just ‘man up’ stay the way you are and suffer with it!” GOOB!!! I mean come on… Hey bro I’m trans, and his response is ‘man up’ ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WTF… Ummm, NO!!! LOL anyway I was really nervous about how the weekend would go and how things between us would work out. So when I arrived Friday night he was out by the pool… I set my bags down and walked out to see him, I was still in my business suit since my last meeting in L.A. didn’t conclude until 5:45 and I had to be at the airport immediately there after. Our folks stayed back, but within ears reach to give us some space, (again this is the first time we’ve seen one another in a couple years and whew have I changed) SO he gives me the once over, up and down and says “Huh, so this is it huh?” full of sarcasm and I think to myself well here comes a fight, but I just haven’t got the energy or desire for it. I just walked away, back into the house to unpack/hang-up some of my things put some toiletries out, curl up into a ball and disappear, whatever. All the while trying and failing to hold back the tears. He steps into the room and says “Wait, I’m sorry. It’s just that I was totally unprepared to see you” we talked for awhile and he even says “Seriously, wow you pull it off very well. You don’t look at all how I imagined you would.” Sad that everyone I’ve had to ‘come out’ to (family) have all had this same horrible misconception about what I’ll look like. At least until we meet face to face, or they see a pic, whatever. Seems like they must have all been thinking ‘whoa that’s gonna be one ugly girl’ or whatever. nuu-uhh. I digress. We talk and talk and all goes very well. My parents, my brother, my G-Ma all were wonderful that weekend, they all made an honest attempt at getting my name and pronouns correct and for the most part they did. Dad has the hardest time with it. Not that he’s being spiteful, I just think he’s resistant to it because he’s hanging tightly onto J----- (boy name) knows that once he goes for it, and gets it right he senses that will be the end of J--- (boy name) and I’ve got to just be as understanding and compassionate about that and what they perceive as their loss as I hope they will be to me. Mom and I discussed this and she said the most beautiful thing. She says now that she’s clearly only gained and really lost nothing since my transition. AWESOME of her she’s really doing well in relating and coming to terms with it. G-Ma is pretty much in the same place (though she was strongly opposed initially) she pulled me aside Sunday morning before going over to some other relatives and says, you know… you really are beautiful…. Then she gives me a great big smile, hugs, kisses and happy Mom’s Day. K I’m crying even now about that one.
Saturday afternoon my bro and I did some running around, last minute gift buying for Mom’s Day, and so on. Then we met up with my best friend for lunch, Mmmmm sushi… my favorite. So were sitting there laughing and chatting. He has both of us just laughing so hard we’re crying. My friend and I do get a bit of attention whenever we're out, and today was no different. As we’re getting ready to head out my bro gets up and I had to let him know to wait for a sec. and sure enough us wrapping it up was the queue some guy needed to pass along the inevitable phone number it was for her this time. LOL bro says how the heck did ya know that was coming… “oh we saw him writing it down about 15 minutes ago after asking the host for a pen…” He’s like darn ya all are always one step ahead of us aren’t ya. Once we were heading down the road bro mentions that he thinks one guy across the sushi bar noticed me and figured it out… LOL My friend says oh ya he was looking… But like a fat kid looking at chocolate cake… ROFLMAO ((when I first went full-time I was very self-conscious about being read and assumed that everyone that looked at me twice was pretty much reading me… Till one of my friends in ATL noted that ya he was looking at ya. But he wasn’t reading ya… He was looking at ya like a fat kid looking at cake… now that’s just funny!!! Ever since, we’ve all used that to lighten the tension regarding being read or just getting seriously checked out.)) Well I’m sure you can imagine the cringe and eye roll from bro as he was mentally figuring out what that ultimately meant.
We all went out to dinner Saturday night… Usually Dad is seriously against that… I think he’s worried about me. Not about being with me, but dealing, if I get read, he’d have a hard time not taking it personal and getting all PO’d. But we had a great evening, a few awkward moments as there were some pronoun/name slips but who cares, he was trying. Ya just work through it no biggie… By Saturday evening most everyone was doing very well with my name and pronouns… Believe it or not my bro and Mom were almost 100% successful… And G-ma was doing very well too. YEAH!!! we ended up playing spades the rest of the evening and had a blast all of us around the table, laughing and just happy to be spending time together. Bro had the arduous task of teaching us and keeping us within the rules of spades, since none of us were very familiar with it, so that was cool.
Sunday morning rolled around and Mom, G-Ma, and I are just lounging and in slow-mo. We passed out additional, Mom’s Day cards and gifts etc… And we’re just about to get off our duffs and get ready for brunch when we hear Dad and bro pull up with the boat (they had planned to go fishing Sun. morning) That was a little weird since we’d expected them to be gone until the afternoon but apparently they ran into issues with the motor on the boat… Bummer Well to make a long story short (too late) they missed J--- (boy name) cuz I was the driver and backer-uper, for some reason it came easy for me to do the whole reverse steering thing… Probably because I HAD to be the best (no pressure on myself) I had to do every “guy” thing better and better and better, lest anyone question my “guyness” LOL that was BS… (funny the garbage we put ourselves through)… Well it was funny being on the other side of that one for a change… Thank God.
So we got them all settled in and they’d decided to join Mom and I for brunch (G-ma was off to other relatives). We had a good time and afterwards Mom and I had them drop us off at the store as she needed to pickup some things. So we’re doing our shopping… and I thought I got read, My mom’s like, lol no way. Anyway we’re at the checkout now and the cashier says “Have a happy Mother’s Day ladies… If you’re Mom’s of course.” My Mom turns around and says “Yep we both are and Happy Mother’s Day back” OMGOSH!!!!! I was a weeee bit floored at that. I actually woke to about 5 Happy Mom’s Day wishes on my phone and Mom asked what was all the beeping so I showed her. I guess she decided that ya she’s a Mom… huh wow included in THAT group by Mom is a BIG DEAL for me…
We all had a great weekend, but it was bitter sweet for me, I was only hours away from having to hop yet another plane back home to ATL. It was difficult to say goodbye to those I’ve missed for so long, and the amazing new relationships we were forming with one another.
Happy Mother’s Day Ladies!!! (sorry it’s a week late)
~Julie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
